I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
