I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He uses pillows to masturbate.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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