Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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