Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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