No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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