no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
soo... how was my night?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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