I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
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Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
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He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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