I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
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