What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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