I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize