What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i dont even know how to be here
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
