I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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