did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
