was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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