i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
