just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
