Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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