OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I lost the right to judge tonight
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
