dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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