Well apparently he's into motor boating.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
