ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
