Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
