When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
