I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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