I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
