rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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