I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Randomize
