I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize