Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
