she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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