i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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