You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
