Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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