even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We left an ass print on the piano.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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