I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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