I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
