And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
