My friends, they love my intelligence
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I have aggressive nipples.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
