I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
