he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
