I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
