I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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