New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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