let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
