Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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