tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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