I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
