i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
