She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
