yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Your dad touched me again.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Reggie can tackle my bush.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
