You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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