I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
