First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
