Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
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Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
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Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.