I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Just cropdusted the office
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.