Texts From Last Night

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  (310): View more from California

  thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing

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  (310): thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing http://tfl.nu/kma4
  Replies (3) Good night (5129) Bad night (1269) Order T-Shirt
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.

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  (269): I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient. http://tfl.nu/pars
  Replies (10) Good night (510) Bad night (2147) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life

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  (804): i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life http://tfl.nu/us99
  Replies (4) Good night (583) Bad night (2781) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.

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  (315): the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time. http://tfl.nu/zyda
  Replies (19) Good night (5527) Bad night (709) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from England

  I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.

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  (+44): I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment. http://tfl.nu/zeo3
  Replies (37) Good night (7015) Bad night (730)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.

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  (917): Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries. http://tfl.nu/38u7
  Replies (10) Good night (884) Bad night (3073) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth

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  (313): you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth http://tfl.nu/33ft
  Replies (31) Good night (1875) Bad night (6172) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"

  (1-312): View more from Illinois

  go get him tiger.

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  (312): just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun" (1-312): go get him tiger. http://tfl.nu/5kmx
  Replies (17) Good night (4791) Bad night (917) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america

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  (302): Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america http://tfl.nu/uvbf
  Replies (23) Good night (1533) Bad night (4759) Order T-Shirt
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either

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  (620): new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either http://tfl.nu/a5gg
  Replies (3) Good night (2055) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?

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  (970): You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you? http://tfl.nu/r91h
  Replies (2) Good night (958) Bad night (2502) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.

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  (410): I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb. http://tfl.nu/3y7t
  Replies (3) Good night (1612) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (562): View more from California

  I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.

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  (562): I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness. http://tfl.nu/jxto
  Replies (7) Good night (777) Bad night (1527) Order T-Shirt
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?

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  (954): I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol? http://tfl.nu/ys8s
  Replies (15) Good night (1707) Bad night (642) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.

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  (503): Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting. http://tfl.nu/qfm2
  Replies (1) Good night (348) Bad night (711)

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