i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
