I'm eating all of the evidence.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
