Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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