we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
worst night to have a conscience
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
