He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize